I can really only answer this by saying some kids just like being difficult and pushing back. Our youngest is 14 and pushes back on EVERYTHING, and it gets old really fast and really leaves you with a sense of "I don't know what to do with you"
Like for example she will not do school work she routinely fails at least 3-4 classes every semester and the ones she passes are barely. When doing chores she will take hours to do a 15 minute task, act like she shouldn't have to do it etc etc. Me and her mom are both basically at the end of our ropes with her. You legit hit a point of "if you don't care then I don't care" punishing her then just becomes punishment for us that kinda thing. Then our son gets grounded for having a bad grade and he's like ''This is not fair"
Kids can really make life difficult if they want, what she has taught me is you can try as much and as hard as you want. Have the best intentions really want to help or change things and at the end of the day if the kid is unwilling to work with you, there is nothing you can do. After years of it you really hit the point of I guess there's not much I can do because grounding and yelling etc etc nothing works it just gives the parents stress as she continues to not care. This kid wanted to drop out of school at 12, I know her future is just very poor looking and I've tried to talk to her about this because she just ignores us, "I'll live you with you forever" is what we get back.
It's really sad honestly.