I had mayonnaise once.
it was back when I was managing a restaurant.
I was cooking
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burgers already come with a swab of mayo, but this guy requested extra
so I grabbed the squirt bottle and filled a 2.5oz souffle cup with mayo
a few minutes later, the waitress is back, holding his plate, saying he wants more mayo. on the burger, not on the side.
odd
so, whatever, I open the roll, and squirt some mayo on it.
not even two minutes later, waitress is back
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open the roll, put mayo on the bottom of the burger now - he's got quite a lot now
a minute later.
waitress
exasperated look on her face
"uhh... he said you didn't give him enough mayo"
-background info - these burgers are 8.5oz before cooking, and about 7oz after cooking.
and there's like 6-8oz of mayo on the thing at this point
so I open the roll top
I unscrew the lid
I dump the rest of the 12 oz bottle all over the plate
I grab the plate and walk out to the table
I slam the plate on the table
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ceramic shards go flying everywhere
a slosh of mayonnaise flies into my eyeball
and that's the story of the time I had mayo [in my eye].
I don't know what it tastes like.