One time, back when I used to drink, I was walking home from the bars at around 2:30 am, sloshed, and came across a cute, white,kitty cat. I slowly started walking towards it saying, "c'mere fluffly. c'mere buddy." As I was about 2 feet from it, my roommate shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!" and startled fluffy.
Fluffy's head then opened 180 degrees and turned into a tooth-filled, oval of pain and disease! I nearly was eaten by, what I thought was, a feral cat!
Later that night, upon arriving home, I was attacked by a bat, inside my house. I caught it inside my blanket and balled it up. I went to sleep/passed out. Early that morning, I was cold, so I unfolded and wrapped myself in the blanket. I felt a sharp sting in my upper thigh and smacked at it. Then another. I was still drunk. It stopped. I passed back out.
I woke up later that morning trying to figure out if I had dreamed this menagerie of biting animals. The bite marks on my leg and the bat in the corner of my room tipped me off to the fact that it wasn't all a dream. I went to the hospital with the dead bat to have it tested for rabies. I was verrry lucky.