Spoiler The only reason I got over my last relationship was that I realized dumb head over heels love isn’t real. People may beg to differ, but how many times have people though they were with the one and would never love anyone that way again.. then something happens and they do it? It’s a fabrication of the right hormones at the right time. Pheromones and their behaviors triggering hormone reactions in your body. It’s just science with some psychology. You actually being properly paired with someone compatible is a completely different story. It’s a sad realization, that’s all. I miss the insanity of that kind of love, but it got me stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship, where to survive I had to become this person. I have fundamentally changed because of it. I met a really good partner to life. Same goals, similar morals and expectations. Would move the earth for me. And I probably would for him. I don’t head over heels love him, which worries me, but I do give a shit and love him. But I’m not open with expressing it. I don’t want to hurt him with my view on life. I’m proud of him, I care about him. I miss him when I don’t see him for a few days( but not when I’ve just gone to work, which was normal last time). Is that wrong? It’s highly functional since he might have to live in another country for a year, and has many deployments ahead of him in the next 8 years. Maybe I won’t allow myself to be codependent. I just feel myself holding back on what could be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I get annoyed with him quickly, that can be hard. The obsessive love hormones aren’t buffering his every move. I never got annoyed with my ex, but I let him do whatever he wanted and treat me however he wanted, and I was scared he would leave. Whenever I’m struggling my current man’s phrase is “don’t worry. I’ll just be here.” And that’s so.. steady. I’m not used to steady from any man ever. I’ve been abandoned by 2 father figures as well, sooooo. I clearly have some issues.