I'm sorry, I can't let this ONE thing go...
But abusive people CHARM, they're kind and charming and wonderful to people because THAT'S HOW THEY WORK.
I know it's not common knowledge to everyone, that I'm very lucky to have the information in my brain from working DV for so many years...
but any psychologist or anyone in that field will tell you that that is HOW they work and HOW they get away with shit.
I have literal PTSD, and my ex is "so kind and wonderful" that he had other women making calls and hunting down my children for him after he GOT OUT OF PRISON. They charm. They're nice. If they didn't put on a mask, they wouldn't find victims.
(also no one NAMED anyone... we are generally speaking about keeping abuse and harassment on the forum out of our lives.)