03/14 - Trying to Blink on Tuesday!

[TotalBabe]

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So I guess i'm the downer.

Sounds like the only thing that might do him some good is to get professional help (and I'm sure others have suggested that if he's as you describe).

 

[T. Leela]

because a picture is just as good.

 

[Peachy]

Title: Psychology study - read a scenario, answer short questions (native English, US born & raised)(~ 3 minutes) | PANDA Worker: Preview | Accept | Requester Requester: Gilad Feldman [AIJ6CWLNZDT3V] (Contact) TO: [Pay: 2.68] [Fair: 4.48] [Comm: 4.20] [Fast: 4.73] [Reviews: 47] [ToS: 0] Description: Read a scenario, answer short simple questions (native English, US born & raised) Time: 15 minutes HITs Available: 1 Reward: $0.30 Qualifications: Exc: [386795465-36659] has not been granted; Total approved HITs is not less than 500; HIT approval rate (%) is not less than 95; Location is one of: US;

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[WalkingEmphasis]

Spoiler: Drunk rant time

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So I guess i'm the downer.

So... yeah. Like @Jaded said, you can't. My best friend committed suicide, and I hate to say, as much as it completely destroyed me and my life when it happened, I wasn't as shocked as I wish I had been. Your friend is walking a fine line and he needs professional help. The outcome here is going to be one of two things - he'll make it or he won't. As someone who has experienced suicide from someone extremely close to me, I would urge you to mentally prepare yourself that it's a very real possibility. I also strongly urge you to try to get him to talk to a counselor. I understand self-preservation, but I wouldn't cut him out entirely. You can limit your conversations, but losing his last friend is the last thing he needs. I know that he's not your responsibility, but if you can manage to find a place where you're okay with understanding that his negativity is a genuine mental illness... it might help him a lot. And lastly, whatever happens... please don't blame yourself for anything. I did not succeed and years later, the guilt still sometimes beats me into a bloody mess.

 

[MerryLou]

Spoiler: Drunk rant time

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So I guess i'm the downer.

Him being smart or intelligent and you trying to get him to see things rationally just won't work/doesn't matter because it sounds like he's mentally ill and using drugs and alcohol. Sometimes it just comes down to professional help. You can "turn him in" if you feel like he's in actual danger. He might hate you for it, but you might save his life. It's not an easy road whatever you decide to do.

 

[Peachy]

Spoiler: Drunk rant time

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So I guess i'm the downer.

at the end of the day you've done all you can do... and that's to be there for him.
sounds like you've been a good friend for 20 years.

sounds like he does have depression, but he also has to be the one to help himself.
sounds like he's ingrained himself into the habit of self destruction and putting himself down

 

[The Bad Ash]

Sounds like the only thing that might do him some good is to get professional help (and I'm sure others have suggested that if he's as you describe).

He's been obligated to mental health professionals but beyond whatever nonsense he spewed to convince them he was o.k. to return return to society, what more can you do? That's why I've tried to be there for him and blah blah. But if a person doesn't want help...O wait...I think someone said that. I just dunno if I can deal with another suicide lol. Is this really where it is today? Everyone just gives up and kills themselves?

 

[WalkingEmphasis]

He's been obligated to mental health professionals but beyond whatever nonsense he spewed to convince them he was o.k. to return return to society, what more can you do? That's why I've tried to be there for him and blah blah. But if a person doesn't want help...O wait...I think someone said that. I just dunno if I can deal with another suicide lol. Is this really where it is today? Everyone just gives up and kills themselves?

I'm really sorry. I understand why you feel this way, especially now that I know you've already experienced suicide. Ever since my best friend died, I have found myself being extremely wary of getting close to people who I know suffer from severe depression. On one hand, I hate myself for it, but on the other hand, I know what losing my best friend did to me. It's a horrible cycle and I honestly almost didn't make it through. Have you considered a counselor for yourself? No matter what decision you make (remaining his friend or not), it could probably help you immensely. I never went to one, but I know that's dumb. Processing this all is hard and talking to someone you know is suicidal is like reliving it all over again. Feel free to PM me...

 

[The Bad Ash]

So... yeah. Like @Jaded said, you can't. My best friend committed suicide, and I hate to say, as much as it completely destroyed me and my life when it happened, I wasn't as shocked as I wish I had been. Your friend is walking a fine line and he needs professional help. The outcome here is going to be one of two things - he'll make it or he won't. As someone who has experienced suicide from someone extremely close to me, I would urge you to mentally prepare yourself that it's a very real possibility. I also strongly urge you to try to get him to talk to a counselor. I understand self-preservation, but I wouldn't cut him out entirely. You can limit your conversations, but losing his last friend is the last thing he needs. I know that he's not your responsibility, but if you can manage to find a place where you're okay with understanding that his negativity is a genuine mental illness... it might help him a lot. And lastly, whatever happens... please don't blame yourself for anything. I did not succeed and years later, the guilt still sometimes beats me into a bloody mess.

I woke up at 12 yrs old to go to school and found my mom dead on the couch. I spent the previous night with her up till about 3am when she said "I think I'm ok, just go to sleep, you have school tomorrow." My life was changed from there. My buddy, Adam, is my chance to make up for what I didn't do when I was a kid. No, I don't totally blame myself for her because I was young and dumb. I'm not now. I can see that he wants to die. I just don't know how to help him. Apparently I can't.

 

[Pleco]

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So I guess i'm the downer.

Can't add anything to everything else people have thoughtfully said, but I just wanted to mention the coke and alcohol thing scream self-medication to me. Drug abuse is highly, highly related to depression. Even if it doesn't trigger it, it makes it much worse.

I'd just say that as much as you're rightly worried about your friend, don't forget to take care of yourself as well, because dealing with these things takes a toll on people and you can't let yourself drown trying to pull someone else out of the water.

 

[The Bad Ash]

Him being smart or intelligent and you trying to get him to see things rationally just won't work/doesn't matter because it sounds like he's mentally ill and using drugs and alcohol. Sometimes it just comes down to professional help. You can "turn him in" if you feel like he's in actual danger. He might hate you for it, but you might save his life. It's not an easy road whatever you decide to do.

Well we both use drugs and alcohol lol. I can enjoy mine without wanting to kill myself though I just stick with beer and weed from time to to time. I think it's much deeper than that. He just can't find a meaning in life other than 'finding a good women and settling down'. Which isn't happening.

 

[T. Leela]

I woke up at 12 yrs old to go to school and found my mom dead on the couch. I spent the previous night with her up till about 3am when she said "I think I'm ok, just go to sleep, you have school tomorrow." My life was changed from there. My buddy, Adam, is my chance to make up for what I didn't do when I was a kid. No, I don't totally blame myself for her because I was young and dumb. I'm not now. I can see that he wants to die. I just don't know how to help him. Apparently I can't.

It bothers me that you even say you don't 'totally' blame yourself, there is no blame, you were 12! though I understand that that's much easier for someone else to day, and you were young, not dumb, I'm so sorry that you had to go through such horrible experience.

 

[The Bad Ash]

at the end of the day you've done all you can do... and that's to be there for him.
sounds like you've been a good friend for 20 years.

sounds like he does have depression, but he also has to be the one to help himself.
sounds like he's ingrained himself into the habit of self destruction and putting himself down

That's him to a "T". No rational argument can bring him out of it.

 

[WalkingEmphasis]

I woke up at 12 yrs old to go to school and found my mom dead on the couch. I spent the previous night with her up till about 3am when she said "I think I'm ok, just go to sleep, you have school tomorrow." My life was changed from there. My buddy, Adam, is my chance to make up for what I didn't do when I was a kid. No, I don't totally blame myself for her because I was young and dumb. I'm not now. I can see that he wants to die. I just don't know how to help him. Apparently I can't.

Will you PM me? I think, if you try to help Adam, you need an extremely strong support system. I genuinely worry what this might do to you, because I know firsthand about thinking about your "second chance" to help someone. But this might not end that way and you can't see it as a failure on your part. And because of how long you've been friends with Adam... meh. Do you have people that you can talk to about this?

 

[The Bad Ash]

I'm really sorry. I understand why you feel this way, especially now that I know you've already experienced suicide. Ever since my best friend died, I have found myself being extremely wary of getting close to people who I know suffer from severe depression. On one hand, I hate myself for it, but on the other hand, I know what losing my best friend did to me. It's a horrible cycle and I honestly almost didn't make it through. Have you considered a counselor for yourself? No matter what decision you make (remaining his friend or not), it could probably help you immensely. I never went to one, but I know that's dumb. Processing this all is hard and talking to someone you know is suicidal is like reliving it all over again. Feel free to PM me...

I'm stubborn in my own way. I've had much worse things happen since my mom's death and no amount of counseling has ever helped. It was only was I was able to have control of my own life that I slowly, finally embraced a certain amount of happiness for myself. I still have issues from time to time, mainly with controlling rage/anger but I'm doing well and I want to try to teach him the same coping mechanisms. He just doesn't want to listen.

 

[The Bad Ash]

Can't add anything to everything else people have thoughtfully said, but I just wanted to mention the coke and alcohol thing scream self-medication to me. Drug abuse is highly, highly related to depression. Even if it doesn't trigger it, it makes it much worse.

I'd just say that as much as you're rightly worried about your friend, don't forget to take care of yourself as well, because dealing with these things takes a toll on people and you can't let yourself drown trying to pull someone else out of the water.

That's a good point. My family says the same thing to me but I'm always like. "well where were you back when I met him? He's more family to me than you are."

 

[Peachy]

can't even go on instagram tonight without getting emotionally triggered

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[The Bad Ash]

It bothers me that you even say you don't 'totally' blame yourself, there is no blame, you were 12! though I understand that that's much easier for someone else to day, and you were young, not dumb, I'm so sorry that you had to go through such horrible experience.

I only say "totally" because she had suicidal attempts before and I could have called someone when she said she took a bottle of pills lol.

 

[The Bad Ash]

Will you PM me? I think, if you try to help Adam, you need an extremely strong support system. I genuinely worry what this might do to you, because I know firsthand about thinking about your "second chance" to help someone. But this might not end that way and you can't see it as a failure on your part. And because of how long you've been friends with Adam... meh. Do you have people that you can talk to about this?

I have my family..and there's a couple good people but mostly shitbags. That's why I didn't talk to them most of my adult life. But people change and improve.

 

[kryss]

For you lego nerds

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/lego-compatible-adhesive-tape-nimuno-loops#/