08/22 - Mental Awareness / Motivation Monday

[TobyF]

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Let's face it. Mental illness sucks. And I know for a fact a few of us on here have it. However, that is not a means to think of said illness to degrade the quality of life we all have.

I've had a diagnosed case of OCD for years, and yeah, some days are better than others but most of the time, I have it under control with medication and mindfulness. My OCD manifests itself when it come to repeated thoughts, mostly negative. I deal with them, accept them, and just learn that at least for now, they're a part of my mental makeup. The important part is not to give OCD, or mental illnesses in general, any more strength because that's exactly what they want.

I invite everyone here who has a mental illness, has had one in the past, or knows someone that does to share their stories. Having a support group is one of the most critical aspects of conquering a mental illness. However, with anything else, that's only if you're comfortable in sharing the stories in question.

We've got each other's support. Hell, we spend most of the days helping each other make some money and make a living. All that I'm attempting to do is take this camaraderie one step further.

Let's kick ass today.

I went undiagnosed with arthrits for 16 years. It destroyed my body. Every time I would go to the dr. People would look at me like I was a junkie wanting a new fix. Even tho I've never done drugs before in my life. Finally in 2014 I was diagnosed. I was yanked out of school at a early age to bullying, I've been terrified of people since then. All my childhood friends use to beat me up. When I was 9 years old, I felt I really only had one friend who was a girl when I was younger. Her father grabbed her and me. Locked me in a room and forced me to watch him rape his own daughter. and said if I ever told anybody, He would kill my mother. (they moved the next day, I never saw or heard from my friend again, I dont know if she's dead or alive or what) I held that secret in for 21 years. before cracking. Because I finally got my first girlfriend at age (24) yep afraid of people. Said girlfriend proceed to end her life because of me, after threatening to kill me because I wasnt comfortable anymore.. cause suprise, suprise, she was married and lied to me. My dr had me tell her all this... my disease was very mild. till it just cracked... you can only hold things in for so long. and by doing so I destroyed my body. My dr immeditaly sent me to a therapist, who diagnosed me with severe depression and a host of other things. It's a struggle everyday. I'm 30 years old now and I cant even use my own debit when I go out shopping cause I'm too afraid the cashier is gonna hurt me.. I talk to nobody but my family. and when I do go somewhere, Like a wrestling match or concert, I'm deadeye and look at no one. I've tried making friends but I ultimately fail. I try to listen to other peoples problems but nobody listens to mine. so I start to feel like a doormat. and I walk away. Everyday is a struggle, but it's a struggle, that I know not alone with. Thank you for making this post and letting me vent a little.

 

[WalkingEmphasis]

I went undiagnosed with arthrits for 16 years. It destroyed my body. Every time I would go to the dr. People would look at me like I was a junkie wanting a new fix. Even tho I've never done drugs before in my life. Finally in 2014 I was diagnosed. I was yanked out of school at a early age to bullying, I've been terrified of people since then. All my childhood friends use to beat me up. When I was 9 years old, I felt I really only had one friend who was a girl when I was younger. Her father grabbed her and me. Locked me in a room and forced me to watch him rape his own daughter. and said if I ever told anybody, He would kill my mother. (they moved the next day, I never saw or heard from my friend again, I dont know if she's dead or alive or what) I held that secret in for 21 years. before cracking. Because I finally got my first girlfriend at age (24) yep afraid of people. Said girlfriend proceed to end her life because of me, after threatening to kill me because I wasnt comfortable anymore.. cause suprise, suprise, she was married and lied to me. My dr had me tell her all this... my disease was very mild. till it just cracked... you can only hold things in for so long. and by doing so I destroyed my body. My dr immeditaly sent me to a therapist, who diagnosed me with severe depression and a host of other things. It's a struggle everyday. I'm 30 years old now and I cant even use my own debit when I go out shopping cause I'm too afraid the cashier is gonna hurt me.. I talk to nobody but my family. and when I do go somewhere, Like a wrestling match or concert, I'm deadeye and look at no one. I've tried making friends but I ultimately fail. I try to listen to other peoples problems but nobody listens to mine. so I start to feel like a doormat. and I walk away. Everyday is a struggle, but it's a struggle, that I know not alone with. Thank you for making this post and letting me vent a little.

From one suicide survivor to another, you need to know that she didn't kill herself because of you. I'm sorry for your struggles, but no, you definitely aren't alone with them.

 

[teal4life]

I went undiagnosed with arthrits for 16 years. It destroyed my body. Every time I would go to the dr. People would look at me like I was a junkie wanting a new fix. Even tho I've never done drugs before in my life. Finally in 2014 I was diagnosed. I was yanked out of school at a early age to bullying, I've been terrified of people since then. All my childhood friends use to beat me up. When I was 9 years old, I felt I really only had one friend who was a girl when I was younger. Her father grabbed her and me. Locked me in a room and forced me to watch him rape his own daughter. and said if I ever told anybody, He would kill my mother. (they moved the next day, I never saw or heard from my friend again, I dont know if she's dead or alive or what) I held that secret in for 21 years. before cracking. Because I finally got my first girlfriend at age (24) yep afraid of people. Said girlfriend proceed to end her life because of me, after threatening to kill me because I wasnt comfortable anymore.. cause suprise, suprise, she was married and lied to me. My dr had me tell her all this... my disease was very mild. till it just cracked... you can only hold things in for so long. and by doing so I destroyed my body. My dr immeditaly sent me to a therapist, who diagnosed me with severe depression and a host of other things. It's a struggle everyday. I'm 30 years old now and I cant even use my own debit when I go out shopping cause I'm too afraid the cashier is gonna hurt me.. I talk to nobody but my family. and when I do go somewhere, Like a wrestling match or concert, I'm deadeye and look at no one. I've tried making friends but I ultimately fail. I try to listen to other peoples problems but nobody listens to mine. so I start to feel like a doormat. and I walk away. Everyday is a struggle, but it's a struggle, that I know not alone with. Thank you for making this post and letting me vent a little.

My heart just breaks for your struggle and as a mother and grandmother, I feel so sad for the way people have treated you. I do not post often but lurk alot and if you ever need to talk to someone who has children with issues too, just PM. me.

 

[A6_Foul_Out]

Line 96 + 97+163+164, delete the // in the beginning of the lines.

by deleting 8 lines, i got more sounds.

you are a genie.

 

[humbleturker]

I can tell this thread was a good idea, because I wasn't so sure at first. I can tell, just by some of the conversations and some of the venting and some of the support...people are healing. That's wonderful. For some of us, this forum is our only outlet. I just wanted this outlet to be the best one it can be.

 

[TobyF]

I don't know if that's sharing too much. But I kinda just got started and didnt stop. and thank you for the offers to talk! i will take you up on it soon. : )

 

[Tuesday]

Great thread topic.

I lived in a foster home for 2 years, was emancipated, and am a codependent/enabler. 22 years in al-anon, family of origin, alcoholism, violence, cops, and sexual abuse in extended family. My mother and I had a lot of therapy as adults, and the last 10 years of her life, we were best friends. She learned how to listen. She learned how to say she was sorry, and to make amends.

We were born as normal people, into an abnormal situation. My perfectionism, and fixing behaviors, stem from this.

Al-anon has been my go to support group. Counseling, support groups, and medication sometimes are the big 3 with mental illness. I recommend mentalpod.com for a great podcast on mental illness, addiction, and therapies, law enforcement, researchers....

Thanks for sharing~

My mom believed that she talked to angels. She was the sweetest woman ever, but I couldn't agree with her, and quite frankly I think that would have been the wrong thing to do. The rest of my family was so deeply in denial. Not that they were smart, they just knew that the angel thing probably wasn't the real life truth. I got the hell out of dodge, real early. When it came time to come home and face stuff. And by stuff, I mean that my family wanted me to decide whether we should take my sweet mother off of life support, I hid for a good long time.

 

[ducky]

edit

 

[Azazael]

I went undiagnosed with arthrits for 16 years. It destroyed my body. Every time I would go to the dr. People would look at me like I was a junkie wanting a new fix. Even tho I've never done drugs before in my life. Finally in 2014 I was diagnosed. I was yanked out of school at a early age to bullying, I've been terrified of people since then. All my childhood friends use to beat me up. When I was 9 years old, I felt I really only had one friend who was a girl when I was younger. Her father grabbed her and me. Locked me in a room and forced me to watch him rape his own daughter. and said if I ever told anybody, He would kill my mother. (they moved the next day, I never saw or heard from my friend again, I dont know if she's dead or alive or what) I held that secret in for 21 years. before cracking. Because I finally got my first girlfriend at age (24) yep afraid of people. Said girlfriend proceed to end her life because of me, after threatening to kill me because I wasnt comfortable anymore.. cause suprise, suprise, she was married and lied to me. My dr had me tell her all this... my disease was very mild. till it just cracked... you can only hold things in for so long. and by doing so I destroyed my body. My dr immeditaly sent me to a therapist, who diagnosed me with severe depression and a host of other things. It's a struggle everyday. I'm 30 years old now and I cant even use my own debit when I go out shopping cause I'm too afraid the cashier is gonna hurt me.. I talk to nobody but my family. and when I do go somewhere, Like a wrestling match or concert, I'm deadeye and look at no one. I've tried making friends but I ultimately fail. I try to listen to other peoples problems but nobody listens to mine. so I start to feel like a doormat. and I walk away. Everyday is a struggle, but it's a struggle, that I know not alone with. Thank you for making this post and letting me vent a little.

always got friends here...no matter how much of a pain in the butt some of us are

 

[teal4life]

I don't know if that's sharing too much. But I kinda just got started and didnt stop. and thank you for the offers to talk! i will take you up on it soon. : )

Mental Illness can be both hereditary and environmental. My husbands family, he is now deceased, all swore when my daughter got diagnosed with mental illness that it was from me. I am adopted (closed) and have no health history. None of his family had a history of mental illness. Alcoholism, drug addiction, spousal abuse and gambling problems but no mental illness. It took me 15 years to convince my husband that there was no shame in mental illness. The last 12 years of his life were the most peaceful he had ever had. Before any one thinks I am blaming his family, I am sure if I knew my own history, I would have plenty of relatives that were locked in attics too.

 

[TobyF]

Mental Illness can be both hereditary and environmental. My husbands family, he is now deceased, all swore when my daughter got diagnosed with mental illness that it was from me. I am adopted (closed) and have no health history. None of his family had a history of mental illness. Alcoholism, drug addiction, spousal abuse and gambling problems but no mental illness. It took me 15 years to convince my husband that there was no shame in mental illness. The last 12 years of his life were the most peaceful he had ever had. Before any one thinks I am blaming his family, I am sure if I knew my own history, I would have plenty of relatives that were locked in attics too.

Glad he was able to find peace. no one deserves blame. just need comfort.

 

[Tuesday]

I don't know if that's sharing too much. But I kinda just got started and didnt stop. and thank you for the offers to talk! i will take you up on it soon. : )

I'm sorry TobyF if I made you feel bad. I didn't mean to. I'm just accustomed to that hard life kind of feel. I only want the best for you.

 

[JenniLeigh]

I LOVE that everyone is gonna get all touchy-feely, and sharing. And MOST weeks, I'd share in that beauty b/c MH awareness is a HUGE part of my life & what I do in the world... :blueheart:

But with my shitty week, where I am today... my crazy ass should probably stay off of here today. urpleheart:
Y'all take care of each other. :yellowheart:

 

[TobyF]

edit

Go when you're ready. It's doesnt have to be a asap thing. You know it's there and identified. Just gotta work up the feeling of doing it.

 

[TobyF]

I LOVE that everyone is gonna get all touchy-feely, and sharing. And MOST weeks, I'd share in that beauty b/c MH awareness is a HUGE part of my life & what I do in the world... :blueheart:

But with my shitty week, where I am today... my crazy ass should probably stay off of here today. urpleheart:
Y'all take care of each other. :yellowheart:

i'm sorry. : (

 

[mamasheebs]

I went undiagnosed with arthrits for 16 years. It destroyed my body. Every time I would go to the dr. People would look at me like I was a junkie wanting a new fix. Even tho I've never done drugs before in my life. Finally in 2014 I was diagnosed. I was yanked out of school at a early age to bullying, I've been terrified of people since then. All my childhood friends use to beat me up. When I was 9 years old, I felt I really only had one friend who was a girl when I was younger. Her father grabbed her and me. Locked me in a room and forced me to watch him rape his own daughter. and said if I ever told anybody, He would kill my mother. (they moved the next day, I never saw or heard from my friend again, I dont know if she's dead or alive or what) I held that secret in for 21 years. before cracking. Because I finally got my first girlfriend at age (24) yep afraid of people. Said girlfriend proceed to end her life because of me, after threatening to kill me because I wasnt comfortable anymore.. cause suprise, suprise, she was married and lied to me. My dr had me tell her all this... my disease was very mild. till it just cracked... you can only hold things in for so long. and by doing so I destroyed my body. My dr immeditaly sent me to a therapist, who diagnosed me with severe depression and a host of other things. It's a struggle everyday. I'm 30 years old now and I cant even use my own debit when I go out shopping cause I'm too afraid the cashier is gonna hurt me.. I talk to nobody but my family. and when I do go somewhere, Like a wrestling match or concert, I'm deadeye and look at no one. I've tried making friends but I ultimately fail. I try to listen to other peoples problems but nobody listens to mine. so I start to feel like a doormat. and I walk away. Everyday is a struggle, but it's a struggle, that I know not alone with. Thank you for making this post and letting me vent a little.

Hang in there man, that's a tough childhood. I'm sure your gf didn't kill herself because of you. She was probably depressed with her situation. I feel for you though, that's hard to deal with.

 

[Tuesday]

Mental Illness can be both hereditary and environmental. My husbands family, he is now deceased, all swore when my daughter got diagnosed with mental illness that it was from me. I am adopted (closed) and have no health history. None of his family had a history of mental illness. Alcoholism, drug addiction, spousal abuse and gambling problems but no mental illness. It took me 15 years to convince my husband that there was no shame in mental illness. The last 12 years of his life were the most peaceful he had ever had. Before any one thinks I am blaming his family, I am sure if I knew my own history, I would have plenty of relatives that were locked in attics too.

No one is to blame for this sort of thing. The only thing that's shameful about it is the folks who try to find someone to blame. Tight hugs.

 

[Hotlamp]

I got the $8 hit. Anyone have it approved? Always cautious of TO.

 

[A6_Foul_Out]

you guys are all beautiful pandas.

 

[JenniLeigh]

i'm sorry. : (

Dude, not your fault I'm fucked up. :heartbeat: