So, I'm resigning as moderator, here at MTC.
I've been sitting here for far too long, getting far too emotional, over just how I want to word my big resignation post and I just can't seem to start it off right. Nothing sounds right. So, I figured I would just come right out and say it. I'm stepping down.
I'm sure this is probably taking many by surprise, but really, it has been a long time coming. I'm sure it's pretty apparent to anyone that has paid attention that I've been dealing with personal stuff for the last several months, and as anyone that really knows me can tell you, I have a terrible habit of focusing all of my attention on things like this forum, at the expense of my own mental health. I tend to focus so much that I can't pull myself away, and stress just starts to build and pile on. It affects me very negatively and, as someone that already has some pretty major mental health issues, it really starts to affect my physical health as well. I need to step away from the responsibility and the stress for a good, long time, I think. As much as I love this place, I really need to focus on other things. I think it's the best thing that I can do for myself, right now.
I'm not necessarily going anywhere, though! Not permanently, anyway. I'll still be around, here and there, but I'll probably be keeping a bit of a lower profile than I typically do... especially for now, while I sort of adjust and figure things out. I just won't be a staff member here, anymore.
I would like to thank all of you, though, for just being so great. This whole experience has been absolutely incredible, and it never would have been a thing without all of you. I consider you all friends and many of you are like family to me. And that's why this decision has been so difficult for me and has taken so long. This truly is a wonderful group.
I already thanked the staff earlier, but I just want to thank them all again. I love working with every one of them so much, and I'm really going to miss it. It really is a thing of wonder that we can get 8 or 9 people together and run a forum as big as this, as efficiently and effectively as we have (and with no drama!) There are so many things that each of them do, every day, that will never be recognized by most people on this forum because those things all happen behind the scenes. They help to make this place what it is, so please, just give them a break once in a while. They all deserve it.
And thank you, everyone, for just being so good to me. Some of you have been around and dealt with me as a moderator or an administrator for years, and have had to put up with a lot of bitchiness and just plain bad days from me (Not to mention all of those edits. Sooo many edits.) Despite always doubting myself and constantly worrying that I was hurting my relationships with people on the forum by being too strict, or too forceful, or whatever, I feel like I've just always received nothing but love and appreciation in return. Like, I don't think I could even begin to count how many times I've had a really horrible day completely turned around, just by maybe a comment from someone, or even a pic, or joke, or whatever.
And as someone that is actually really, really shy (does anyone remember me from MTF or when I was new on MTG, and I only ever posted HITs but never talked because I was so fucking awkward and nervous all the time?), this community has done such a remarkable job with being so accepting and always making me feel welcome, that it really helped me to open up and come out of that shell that I had been hiding in for so long. It has allowed me to be comfortable with being myself in front of others, which is something that I've always struggled with. That really means the the world to me and is probably my sole reason for continuing on with this for as long as I have. There's so much love and positivity in this community, it really is something special. You guys are the best and I absolutely adore every single one of you. :blueheart::blueheart::blueheart::blueheart:
Farewell, friends...
