Brain surgery, on any part, can change you significantly. That's why they prefer to operate on your brain while you're awake, so they can keep asking you questions to see if your answers change.
There's a good likelihood I'm much more different now than I realize if I take into account most of the people I knew before the cancer aren't really in my life anymore. That's a question I should probably ask. When you can't remember lots of details about huge chunks of your previous life you are probably the worst authority on the matter. I do sometimes get VERY frustrated at how much slower I am now than I was before. I remember being very intelligent and my thought process now is much more muddled and sluggish in comparison. There's a lot more static on the frequency to push through.
That and there is not supposed to be a lot of pain involved in operating on the brain. So you can be awake and the less fentanyl they give you the better off you are.
| | HITs | Value |
|---|---|---|
| Viewed | 1563 | $109.41 |
| Submitted | 1444 | $101.08 |
| Approved | 1444 | $101.08 |
| Returned | 115 | $8.05 |
| Bonuses | N/A | $0.00 |
You might be more intelligent now that you are aware of what is going on. I can't remember big chunks of my life and as far as i know don't have a brain injury but I know why I can't remember. Nor do i want too which is why I like to sleep with the TV or radio on. They block out the city noise and they block out dreams that are memories which then get confused with present reality. And i don't think anyone remembers the past as it was. Our brains do their own number on it and our version of the reality becomes our own. Someone else will relate a totally different version. So really, the past is not worth thinking or talking about I think. We just have to take the lessons learned and absorb them and let the rest go.
In person I've been accused of being on the spectrum or even being a sociopath (emotionally) multiple times. Here on the internet I get accused of being condescending with alarming frequency. I know those feels all too well... it does set you apart... you feel out of sync with the world around you... or rather, out of sync with the people around you I suppose. I'm fairly certain I do feel real emotions... maybe not the entire range of emotions most people feel, some descriptions mystify me... but obviously I can't truly know anyone else' experience to compare with my own... Wittgensteins beetle and all that.ROFL! I was just typing blessing and curse about remembering everything! Luckily, I do remember but, my ASD makes it so I have to actually put in effort to care, which has taken years to learn how to act sincere about a made-up feeling but, whatev's. If I don't put any effort in, I just couldn't give a shit because I'm wired not to and I come off as cold or aloof. To me it's just rational and logical.Like a fucking Vulcan.
"Oh. Your pet died. Damn, I'm hungry. Are you hungry?"
Wait, he looks sad. What's the sad one again? Oh, yeah.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. That really sucks."
God, I hope that was the right one.
Well, he didn't make a strange face. Yup. Nailed it.
I still can't wrap my brain around the blame thing. I've tried for 40 years. I know the definition but I can't figure out why you would need to invent a word for that in the first place. I see it and I don't even think about who did it. How would that change the situation I find myself in, whatever that may be. I'm odd.
Don't worry. I already know.
EDIT It does make me feel different from everyone. And, it's not a visible difference so, obviously, people don't adjust or account for it.
There's not supposed to be much pain below the skin. That's usually simulated pain created by your brain in a panic situation to force you to react to danger or damage.
Yeah, when you are looking at stuff, you aren't even really see it. What you are "seeing" is an analog representation (made in your brain) of the reflection if the thing. Obviously, we all process differently so, the data is flawed from the start because it's a rebuild or copy. And, copies are never perfect. If you aren't seeing correctly, due to subconscious bias, then you couldn't remember accurately. Only accurately, from your perspective.
There could be some truth in that, I could just be pessimistic. I do feel like I am capable of making fewer abstract connections between pieces of data than before... and I definitely feel like the whole decision making/data analysis process feels like swimming through jello compared to how I remember feeling before.
Did you go all in on these FBAbiz as well? Just discovered them this morning..
Oh yes my friend. Capped on them last night, was gonna get up at 3am to do more but I gotta work today so that's no bueno.
I was out last night.Oh yes my friend. Capped on them last night, was gonna get up at 3am to do more but I gotta work today so that's no bueno.
I'm surprised you didn't see them at 200k last night
Already at $60 so i'm pretty bummed about how much i could have made on these yesterday
Some years after my mother passed I had this reocurring dream that ihad to work through. The dream was real to me in my sleep. I got this idea that she was alive and buried. Of course in my sleeping state I was upset. I remembered the dream but it didn't take over my life during the day. Then at night it would come again and progress until the night I got everyone i needed together in the dream, family, my father, son, county officials, whoever I needed to solve this problem. She was released from her grave in that dream and she stopped haunting me. I have no idea what it meant. I have read lately with all the bodies stacking up from heroin overdoses that findings show heroin somehow prevents the body from completely dying until up to a week or so of death pronounced. Mom had cancer and was in much pain and on morphine. Maybe it was something residual that I picked up on. Don't know. Don't want to know. Just don't want that dream again.
