Since there isn't much HIT action going on, I'll share a fun story from my return to normal life after vacation:
I got home last Thursday and had to leave Tuesday morning for a work trip to Dallas. Problem was the starter went out on my car. So I'm in the process of waiting for a tow truck to come because I seriously could not get ONE bolt out to do it myself, and my wife says "hey, there's a lady yelling in our driveway." So I go out and she says, calmly, "is that your dog?" Sure enough my husky weaseled his way out of the yard somehow and left his collar behind. She seemed calm about it, and if you know huskies, chasing them only makes it worse. So I grab his collar and leash and start walking down the street. She says the first kind of crazy thing "I have a 15 year old yorkie and he's blind so I don't want him to get hurt." I say "OK, well Wilco is extremely friendly...is your dog outside?" she says no, but that Wilco keeps barking at her garage. I say "I'm sorry, he probably saw a cat." At this point she is walking behind me yelling super loud "GO HOME!" "STOP! GET OUT OF HERE!" She then says "maybe I will go down there and have him walk your way?" Again, she's being super kind, but weird and a little crazy. I say "no, he won't respond to that. Let me get my other car and I will drive up to him." I drive up the road to him, about 6 houses down, and sure enough he's cornered a cat. So I'm calmly walking up to him to grab him so the cat can run away without him doing anything crazy. She makes her way to us and again is yelling "GO HOME!" "GO AWAY!" Like, screaming that she's in fear for her life. Which is absurd because my neighborhood knows my dog well and he's super sweet to everyone, except cats. But she's new around here it seems. I calmly say "Ma'am, please stop yelling at my dog. It really isn't helping and I'm going to get him right now, it's ok." She flips. her. shit. "IT'S NOT OK! HE'S BEEN OUT HERE FOR 20 MINUTES!" screaming at me (it had been 10, tops). I say "OK...if you're that concerned please call animal control. You're screaming is going to wake up my one year old and I'd much rather her get her nap in so I can come home with her pup and all will be OK." She starts screaming "I'm pregnant! What if he jumps on me and causes a miscarriage. Things wouldn't be "OOOOOOKAY" then would they!?" At this point I've had it. I reply "Oh. I just thought you were fat...." She has this rage filled face and starts screaming "I'm scared for my life! Someone help me!" Neighbors that are home are coming out, watching the whole thing, and one of them yells out "then why the F*CK are you outside chasing a dog around!? Take your own advice and GO HOME!" At this point Wilco simply walks up to me, sits down and I say calmly "hey buddy, let's go home!" and he bolts down the street into my garage.
Best welcome home, ever.
