TEAM MELLY

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Jaded

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Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
 
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Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
 
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
 
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A stick.
 
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
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Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
 
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Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
 
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
 
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I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
 
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IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
 
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I can handle pain until it hurts.
 
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