06/12 - Terrible Tuesday!

[Mecca]

Honey..thats what abusers do...Look up the cycle of abuse- I was going to go to school to be a counselor..but I just didn't want to deal with rotten people anymore that don't get common sense etc lol. I had my fill in life- and of abusive people who just refuse reason, change etc and justify bad behavior towards others.

this is something you do need to think about- Dr Phils books focus on the family etc- and also Gary chapman books are amazing for helping with family and relationship issues and also being to the POINT and easy to understand. Reasonable, solid advice.

Abusers and narcissists will always blame EVERYONE else...they cannot take responsibility- this stuff will definitely begin to exhaust you..You cannot reason with people who are like this- It is not something to take lightly- but boundaries are necessary in every relationship- with children, family, friends etc- You have to decide whats best for you and your family. All you can do is weigh good advice and wisdom and then decide- You might not be worn out enough yet. You know what works for you and your family and what will help your daughter- Either way, it's clear to see that you love your child and are trying to do whats best for her and the baby which is something to admire and something all of us see, I hope your child sees that too. She also may just love him a lot and is trying to work it out for her child- and to get through to him- That happens too- I've also been THERE- All you can do is love her through it <3 (and take his kneecap out if he is abusive to her again)

The thing is I completely get where you are coming from and I do understand all of this..it's just a tough spot to be in I feel like we are all compromising ourselves for her and her baby because she won't make the right choice...which then makes me want to be like well maybe we need to let her make her own decision and not be part of it if that's what she wants. But that is obviously easier said than done because obviously if we do that I doubt we see them or the baby for a really long time...

I do think it's time to just lay it down the way it's gonna be and if he doesn't like it to bad, but we'll see.

 

[themildone]

I speak horrible words, but I try not to be pornographic. I have standards with my vulgarity,lol.

lol! I don't use those ones around kiddo. the worst is the f bomb.

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[AngelFace]

That Eric Tang hit is AWFUL- I disliked it very much on a scale of 1-5...EXTREMELY disliked

 

[C to the J]

Title: Short Scenario and Choice Study(~ 4 minutes) | Accept Requester: Jennifer L Savary [AYMHCUWHMZ2EJ] Contact TV: No Reviews TO: [Pay=3.95] [Fast=4.60] [Comm=3.17] [Fair=4.18] [Reviews=22] [ToS=0] TO2: No Reviews Reward: 0.40 Duration: 1800 Available: 12 Description: Academic Research Pilot Study - answer a recall scenario and make choices Qualifications: SurveyGroup [1177] DoesNotExist ; Exc: [91636-91047] DoesNotExist ; Location In US [tr][td] HIT exported from Mturk Suite v2.3.6​

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[Jaded]

lol! I don't use those ones around kiddo. the worst is the f bomb.

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I hate that word. Every once in a while Fiance will use it and I throw things at him. (Little things, like peppermints or pens. Not like the television.) That and the one that starts with T that I won't even type.

 

[JenniLeigh]

So I think the majority of this forum thinks I should just kick him out and if she goes too then that's on her?

You shouldn't base anything on what the forum says, tbh.
He's a fucking horrible person and you shouldn't have to have him in your home, but, before you do anything, (and this is coming from someone who's trained in DV/worked in shelters for years...) contact your local agency, educate yourself first, on supporting her.
Shit is gonna get rough. She may not make the "right" decision at first, or at all. She's hormonal, in love, thinking about the baby, and blinded by his bullshit (as y'all know, I've been there...) fear will make you do some dumb shit. You need to be there for her, but not judgy, set boundaries, but be flexible for change. It's gonna be a crazy ride.

 

[Trucker]

Ugh..Thank you Maple Lab- but also...the horror-

Time?

 

[C to the J]

Title: The current 4-minute study aims to understand how people communicate with each other. | Accept Requester: Wakslak Lab [A1156S1P84GI4U] Contact TV: [Hrly=$8.56] [Pay=3.13] [Fast=null] [Comm=null] [Rej=0] [ToS=0] [Blk=0] TO: [Pay=3.08] [Fast=4.58] [Comm=2.63] [Fair=4.92] [Reviews=44] [ToS=0] TO2: [Hrly=5.51] [Pen=0.17 days] [Res=null] [Rec=50%] [Rej=0] [ToS=0] [Brk=0] Reward: 0.40 Duration: 1800 Available: 6 Description: You will complete a few questions and then answer some demographic questions about yourself. This study will take less than 3 minutes. Qualifications: HIT approval rate (%) GreaterThanOrEqualTo 95; ExcludeDD3 DoesNotExist ; Location EqualTo US [tr][td] HIT exported from Mturk Suite v2.3.6​

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[themildone]

I hate that word. Every once in a while Fiance will use it and I throw things at him. (Little things, like peppermints or pens. Not like the television.) That and the one that starts with T that I won't even type.

sorry ...I don't even know what T one you're talking about

 

[mboone73]

 

[humbleturker]

You are not @Kerek

Have you ever seen me and @Kerek in the same room?
I don't think so.

 

[AngelFace]

The thing is I completely get where you are coming from and I do understand all of this..it's just a tough spot to be in I feel like we are all compromising ourselves for her and her baby because she won't make the right choice...which then makes me want to be like well maybe we need to let her make her own decision and not be part of it if that's what she wants. But that is obviously easier said than done because obviously if we do that I doubt we see them or the baby for a really long time...

I do think it's time to just lay it down the way it's gonna be and if he doesn't like it to bad, but we'll see.

YEP- you get to that point- I have loved many a lot to and have had to let them go because they were so very toxic to me and I gave them chance after chance. Grown adults have free will..unfortunately sometimes . This is the sucky part of having kids and what I fear- their decisions with relationships and who they will be when they grow up. Just keep her in good thoughts and show her love- as she will remember that and she will see how bad the guy she is with treats her- I would personally just let her know that you love her and she has a home there and the baby, but an abusive guy does not. That way she knows she has her family to turn too if she decides to cut you all out- and things get bad- Which they usually do with such people- She'll come back. Teenagers make stupid decisions sometimes but they usually learn. I pray that she does not cut you all out and figures out who truly loves her- So sorry you are going through this <3 This truly sucks

 

[JenniLeigh]

sorry ...I don't even know what T one you're talking about

It took me a min to figure it out too... it's used more in the UK/Ireland.... if that helps.

And rhymes with

 

[AngelFace]

Time?

Close to an hour

 

[sinon]

Honestly might need to mute the work thread first time ever. Conversations going on right now are pretty triggering. Sorry for feeling that way but yeah. It's my problem, I know, but this is the daily work thread... Guess that's what the "hit only" feature is for. Sigh.

 

[Jaded]

It took me a min to figure it out too... it's used more in the UK/Ireland.... if that helps.

And rhymes with

That is so much better than the hint I was gonna type.

sorry ...I don't even know what T one you're talking about

It's okay I won't throw anything at you! (I don't think I can fit peppermints in a forum post.)

 

[lolkatB]

the thing about that is....you don't know how long she's had that car, if it was given to her, if she bought that car before she had to go on WIC. and yeah she could sell it and get a cheaper car, but at least she knows the one she has is reliable, you know? sometimes there's stuff you just don't know.

Maybe she was a foster parent? I had that happen when I was working a cash register before. She was an emergency foster carer for a family of 3 children, who were taken from their mom with just the clothes they were wearing. She'd no idea what she could buy and as I had only been here a month or so, I wasn't much help. I called a supervisor for her and we got them all fixed up. But someone just looking at them would have seen a nice lady, using it and then getting into her smart car,

 

[AngelFace]

Title: New product evaluation survey(~ 15 minutes) | PANDA Requester: Danny [A2LK61CGWGSGDG] (Req TV): N/A (TO): [Pay: N/A] [Fair: N/A] [Comm: N/A] [Fast: N/A] Description: Evaluate two new products Time: 50 minutes(s) HITs Available: 21 Reward: $1.00 Qualifications: Total approved HITs GreaterThanOrEqualTo 100; HIT approval rate (%) GreaterThanOrEqualTo 100; Exc: [92486-91897] DoesNotExist ; Location In US;

 

[C to the J]

Title: Complete a short letter game and answer some questions- approx. 7 mins, earn $0.70 | Accept Requester: Jeremy Cone [AD8AISPME4GCK] Contact TV: [Hrly=$11.11] [Pay=3.40] [Fast=5.00] [Comm=null] [Rej=0] [ToS=0] [Blk=0] TO: [Pay=2.73] [Fast=4.71] [Comm=4.09] [Fair=4.82] [Reviews=74] [ToS=0] TO2: [Hrly=5.11] [Pen=0.05 days] [Res=null] [Rec=80%] [Rej=0] [ToS=0] [Brk=0] Reward: 0.70 Duration: 2700 Available: 1 Description: We will ask you to complete a short letter game, and answer some questions and provide some demographic information. Qualifications: Total approved HITs GreaterThanOrEqualTo 1000; HIT approval rate (%) GreaterThanOrEqualTo 95; Location EqualTo US [tr][td] HIT exported from Mturk Suite v2.3.6​

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[Jaded]

Honestly might need to mute the work thread first time ever. Conversations going on right now are pretty triggering. Sorry for feeling that way but yeah. It's my problem, I know, but this is the daily work thread... Guess that's what the "hit only" feature is for. Sigh.

I'm sorry, that's awful.

Maybe if we are gonna keep going with this conversation we should move it to a thread that's more appropriate (or PMs of course)