06/12 - Terrible Tuesday!

Do you like Wendy’s?


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Jaded

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So I think the majority of this forum thinks I should just kick him out and if she goes too then that's on her?
I think that, as with anythying, you should think long and hard for yourself and make a decision based on your own thoughts. It's too easy to blame others if you take their advice and don't like the outcome.
 

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Title: Investment Decisions(~ 10 minutes) | Accept
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tricker

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man, I hope I learn that skill soon. My kiddo is definitely in the button-pushing phase. Most of the time he just grins at me when I'm telling/yelling at him to stop something. The other times, I put him in timeout or swat his butt and he acts like the world is ending, but he's right back to button pushing as soon as I walk away. it's infuriating.
Always remember, you're the boss. You have all the power. There is NEVER a need for a power struggle with your kid. That is what he's trying to do: get into a power struggle with you. Just laugh and say, "Nice try, buddy. I'm the boss. You are not. Wanna push it? If you chose to do so xyz will happen".

xyz should be something he really, really cares about that is not abusive or denying affection, if that makes sense?

For my kid, all I need to do is say, "Five days, no video games if you keep that up" and he immediately stops whatever he is doing that is wrong. Find that thing with your kid and you have all you need.

Kids constantly try and get into a power struggle with parents. Don't engage. If they need to try and argue you, feel free to listen to their argument. Repeat it back to them. Ask them if you understand what they are trying to say. Once they affirm that, yes, you understand their position say, "Ok. I get what you're saying. Nevertheless, I stand by my earlier decision."

My child runs screaming now when he hears "nevertheless". He knows I won't budge. The three older kids I helped raise also still hate that word. The oldest is 25 and will cringe when she hears it, lol.
 

C to the J

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mboone73

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Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
 

AngelFace

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It's even worse when you try to help and someone she labels you as the problem...cause I'm pretty sure that is what is currently going on.
Honey..thats what abusers do...Look up the cycle of abuse- I was going to go to school to be a counselor..but I just didn't want to deal with rotten people anymore that don't get common sense etc lol. I had my fill in life- and of abusive people who just refuse reason, change etc and justify bad behavior towards others.

this is something you do need to think about- Dr Phils books focus on the family etc- and also Gary chapman books are amazing for helping with family and relationship issues and also being to the POINT and easy to understand. Reasonable, solid advice.

Abusers and narcissists will always blame EVERYONE else...they cannot take responsibility- this stuff will definitely begin to exhaust you..You cannot reason with people who are like this- It is not something to take lightly- but boundaries are necessary in every relationship- with children, family, friends etc- You have to decide whats best for you and your family. All you can do is weigh good advice and wisdom and then decide- You might not be worn out enough yet. You know what works for you and your family and what will help your daughter- Either way, it's clear to see that you love your child and are trying to do whats best for her and the baby which is something to admire and something all of us see, I hope your child sees that too. She also may just love him a lot and is trying to work it out for her child- and to get through to him- That happens too- I've also been THERE- All you can do is love her through it <3 (and take his kneecap out if he is abusive to her again)
 
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Liz

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man, I hope I learn that skill soon. My kiddo is definitely in the button-pushing phase. Most of the time he just grins at me when I'm telling/yelling at him to stop something. The other times, I put him in timeout or swat his butt and he acts like the world is ending, but he's right back to button pushing as soon as I walk away. it's infuriating.
Need me to come over?
 
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Michele

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themildone

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Always remember, you're the boss. You have all the power. There is NEVER a need for a power struggle with your kid. That is what he's trying to do: get into a power struggle with you. Just laugh and say, "Nice try, buddy. I'm the boss. You are not. Wanna push it? If you chose to do so xyz will happen".

xyz should be something he really, really cares about that is not abusive or denying affection, if that makes sense?

For my kid, all I need to do is say, "Five days, no video games if you keep that up" and he immediately stops whatever he is doing that is wrong. Find that thing with your kid and you have all you need.

Kids constantly try and get into a power struggle with parents. Don't engage. If they need to try and argue you, feel free to listen to their argument. Repeat it back to them. Ask them if you understand what they are trying to say. Once they affirm that, yes, you understand their position say, "Ok. I get what you're saying. Nevertheless, I stand by my earlier decision."

My child runs screaming now when he hears "nevertheless". He knows I won't budge. The three older kids I helped raise also still hate that word. The oldest is 25 and will cringe when she hears it, lol.
See, that's the whole problem. With mine, he'll just forget whatever I took away. Although...it just dawned on me what I need to start taking away. I'm so dumb. I think I just had a parenting breakthrough. Thanks!
Need me to come over?
he's actually being good today! but...yes anyway? :)
 

Jaded

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Title: Record a video to Cheer up my friend! | Accept
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stuffalleysays

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makes total sense. I can control it if I'm in public (from my days of working retail). But if I'm home it's like my filter just doesn't work and it doesn't dawn on me that I need to watch what I'm saying.
I speak horrible words, but I try not to be pornographic. I have standards with my vulgarity,lol.
 

Jaded

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Title: 5-7 min survey about food decisions | Accept
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SunlitSunflower

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Title: Answer a survey on political attitudes | Accept
Requester: Margaret Hendricks [A2IW5YVGUH2FDN] Contact
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Duration: 10800
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Description: This is for a study on the political attitudes of people living in the US. The study consists of several brief surveys on your opinions. They should take about 20-25 minutes to complete. If you completed this HIT previously, please do not take it again.
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