He knows, his parents are pretty awesome. I spend time with him every couple of years. This explanation gets a bit confusing with the he and she and I stuff, but I had cancer when I was pregnant. I chose to put my kid up for adoption because I wasn't sure what was going to happen with me. Long story short, I'm still alive. I was so scared back then, adoption seemed like my best option, and even now, I think it was my best choice. I was rather sick for a long time after he was born, with chemo and well, just fucking cancer. I love that baby, and I'm really lucky that his parents have never hidden me from him. He's a teenager now, and he seems to like me, but I'm not his parent, and I never will be. I'm not exactly sure what kind of relationship I will have with him when he's grown.