01/31 - Treacle Tuesday!

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minkyboodle

minkyboodle

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sandyriver said:
My dude, after 20 yrs of marriage still listens to his moma. Seriously sometimes I feel like saying 'grow up man. make your own decisions'
I guess it's the mom control or its the female protective thing mom's have over their sons. I hope I don't do it :(
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FrenchToast said:
Yep, he's in his late 30s and she still tries to run his life. I guess thats what happens when you're the baby of the family. We've been together for 3.5 years and he's made it clear to her that her input is not needed. She has even tried turning his son against us (more specifically me) but she literally told a 7/8 year old that his dad was choosing me over their family. WHAT?! She moved over 1000 miles away and it has been glorious for us all.
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Firstly, I want to recommend this to both of you, as a place to laugh and vent. (Really helped me process some of my ex-MILs..special ways and find the humor in it all.) I'd also recommend r/raisedbynarcissists because a lot of times behaviors like that go hand-in-hand with NMoms. (Though not every situation is a case of that, I'll admit.)

Secondly, I can understand how difficult these situations can be. It is my hope that your partners work with you to end such behaviors, and are receptive to your thoughts on the matter and how the actions of their mothers hurt you. Otherwise, nothing will change. (But I pray that's not the case, and y'all are able to find enough wiggle room to set appropriate boundaries that stick.)

I hope I don't sound bitchy about the whole Mom thing.. Truth is, I'm very non-judgey and have just learned from bad experiences. I'll date someone who is still living at home (especially in this economy), but if it becomes a situation where someone outside of the relationship is trying to dictate things, it's time to have a talk and make some choices, or I'm bouncing faster than Tigger on coffee. That's just me, though, and I understand it's not always the best choice for others.
 
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catnapped

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Liz

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minkyboodle said:
Firstly, I want to recommend this to both of you, as a place to laugh and vent. (Really helped me process some of my ex-MILs..special ways and find the humor in it all.) I'd also recommend r/raisedbynarcissists because a lot of times behaviors like that go hand-in-hand with NMoms. (Though not every situation is a case of that, I'll admit.)

Secondly, I can understand how difficult these situations can be. It is my hope that your partners work with you to end such behaviors, and are receptive to your thoughts on the matter and how the actions of their mothers hurt you. Otherwise, nothing will change. (But I pray that's not the case, and y'all are able to find enough wiggle room to set appropriate boundaries that stick.)

I hope I don't sound bitchy about the whole Mom thing.. Truth is, I'm very non-judgey and have just learned from bad experiences. I'll date someone who is still living at home (especially in this economy), but if it becomes a situation where someone outside of the relationship is trying to dictate things, it's time to have a talk and make some choices, or I'm bouncing faster than Tigger on coffee. That's just me, though, and I understand it's not always the best choice for others.
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My son still lives at home..you could date him :celebrate:
 
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thedorchannel

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minkyboodle said:
Firstly, I want to recommend this to both of you, as a place to laugh and vent. (Really helped me process some of my ex-MILs..special ways and find the humor in it all.) I'd also recommend r/raisedbynarcissists because a lot of times behaviors like that go hand-in-hand with NMoms. (Though not every situation is a case of that, I'll admit.)

Secondly, I can understand how difficult these situations can be. It is my hope that your partners work with you to end such behaviors, and are receptive to your thoughts on the matter and how the actions of their mothers hurt you. Otherwise, nothing will change. (But I pray that's not the case, and y'all are able to find enough wiggle room to set appropriate boundaries that stick.)

I hope I don't sound bitchy about the whole Mom thing.. Truth is, I'm very non-judgey and have just learned from bad experiences. I'll date someone who is still living at home (especially in this economy), but if it becomes a situation where someone outside of the relationship is trying to dictate things, it's time to have a talk and make some choices, or I'm bouncing faster than Tigger on coffee. That's just me, though, and I understand it's not always the best choice for others.
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wait, sandyriver @sandyriver FrenchToast @FrenchToast minkyboodle @minkyboodle , are we talking general life advice? or the mom telling him how the relationship with you should go?

because honestly as far as general advice I think its always smart to listen to parents (anyone with experience tbh) Theyve already been there and experienced certain things.

Its like with mturk ( see the convo is mturk related! :) ) without the advice from experienced turkers, we wouldn't make as much money as we do now
 
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minkyboodle

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