Turker Parents Unite!

[hydraliskraider]

It's almost that time! Let's talk holidays What are you doing for Christmas (if you celebrate it) by way of presents? I'm at war with myself over "no more crap in my house" and "I love watching my son get excited opening things". He'll get to open all the new baby's gifts (books!) this year, so that will add more fun for him I think

My daughter is 6 and loves playing on her tablet.

I'm lucky, since she's clumsy with her tablet and cracked the screen, and she really enjoys spending a lot of time with it, playing animal simulator games and what-not. So it's easy for me to tell what to get her.

She'll probably get one squeaky nice tablet and then a bunch of cheap filler in big boxes obscuring the tablet, to hide the finale.

If you want "no more crap in this house", buy a couple of meaningful gifts and make the rest of the gifts intentionally disposable (i.e., for kids, coloring books).

 

[TinaBanina]

My daughter is 6 and loves playing on her tablet.

I'm lucky, since she's clumsy with her tablet and cracked the screen, and she really enjoys spending a lot of time with it, playing animal simulator games and what-not. So it's easy for me to tell what to get her.

She'll probably get one squeaky nice tablet and then a bunch of cheap filler in big boxes obscuring the tablet, to hide the finale.

If you want "no more crap in this house", buy a couple of meaningful gifts and make the rest of the gifts intentionally disposable (i.e., for kids, coloring books).

My kids have kindles. The kid one comes with a no-questions-asked warranty. My daughter doesn't have the kid one, but you can add accident protection on it, which is really awesome if you look into the kindle.

 

[Binxybaby]

My kid is 3 months today so I just wanted to brag on him lol

 

[LittleDrummerBoy]

For all of you with kids do you think my approach with my kid is the right approach or am I being to harsh with her?

I don't have kids myself, but I am around the age of the kids that you're talking about (I think)

In regard to you wanting the kids that are over 18 to find their own place, or to help out more in the mean time, I would have to agree. I'm 27 right now, and living on my own. I would hope that in another life, if I were at this age but in a situation similar to what you're describing that someone would kick my rear into gear so to speak. Just my 2 cents, but I think you're going in the right direction. That being said, it's just an outside opinion. Good luck with the whole situation!

 

[DareAngel3]

The issue with mine is she doesn't like do anything but staring at her phone.

This has been said about my brother many times. He is 27 and lives at home. Always sitting on his computer with headphones. Never had a social life, not interested in dating. Not paying for anything around the house.
However, he's the most intelligent and wittiest person I've ever met. He's currently working full-time as head of an IT department because he's good at it and doesn't have to associate with people. Went to school and got a psychology degree for fun. Just bought a car with cash that he'd saved up (mainly because he makes so much more than he spends.)
Some ask my Mom "how do you do it?" but we love him and respect his life choices. Plus, she's divorced and lonely and she appreciates his presence in the house and he buys her lunch on her days off. He helps us with money if we need it, just like Mom always did for us when we were growing up and "working" as teenagers.
So to each their own, I say. Just because someone doesn't fit a societal mold doesn't mean they're not an awesome person.

 

[JCGrey]

It's not the caffeine she's craving, it's the sugar. She's one of those kids that won't eat any vegetables doesn't like anything but wants nothing but candy and sweets. She's like an addict, and she's stubborn if you do that "if you don't like what I made don't eat" stuff she'll go 3 days without eating.

Very frustrating stuff.

My son has ADHD (it's his 11th birthday by the way!) so I feel your frustrations. He doesn't even know he has it, he thinks his medicine is for allergies (he does take an allergy medicine). His pediatrician and I did not want to have him "labeled" as ADHD but we wanted to give him all the tools to succeed which meant medication.

I would definitely talk to your daughter's pediatrician about her cravings though because it might be that her medication is not enough. I know they have some medications that can help in the afternoons that don't interfere with sleep and may hopefully help with some of the home life frustrations.

Just remember to try to understand it's not all her fault, she can really be trying but it may seem as if she is not at all. As a fellow ADHD parent I might need you to remind me of that same thing in a few weeks!

https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-obesity-link/

 

[jan]

@Mecca
This isn't a suggestion, so much, just to put out there - I've been paying my daughter to come up with our shopping list. You might want to consider that your daughter takes on a small part of it as a paid job (coming up with, say- 2 meals that meet your families expectations). I wouldn't even make her 'make' the meals to get paid - just search the internet for fun, flavorful, somewhat healthy - or whatever - meals.
I've been giving my daughter, btw, 10/week . (It's also just the 2 of us).

 

[themildone]

Need some advice. Or commiseration. Idk.
I'm so, so close to getting rid of 99% of my son's toys. I'm so tired of endlessly picking them up and still my living room looks like a toy store blew up. It's embarrassing, because my neighbors frequently come over and it's a fucking mess. Asking my son to pick up toys ends with a meltdown about 75% of the time and I have to end up picking them up. The rest of the time, I have to 'help' him or he either won't budge or gets distracted a thousand times. Me 'helping' him is picking up most of the toys while telling him which toys to pick up. It's so fucking annoying and I hate it. The thing is, he really does play with most of his toys...but he cycles through them. So for a few days a group of toys will be his absolute favorite, then he'll move on to another group, then go back to the first group. So I don't want to get rid of any but for fucks sake I am SO TIRED of picking them up.

 

[DareAngel3]

Need some advice. Or commiseration. Idk.
I'm so, so close to getting rid of 99% of my son's toys. I'm so tired of endlessly picking them up and still my living room looks like a toy store blew up. It's embarrassing, because my neighbors frequently come over and it's a fucking mess. Asking my son to pick up toys ends with a meltdown about 75% of the time and I have to end up picking them up. The rest of the time, I have to 'help' him or he either won't budge or gets distracted a thousand times. Me 'helping' him is picking up most of the toys while telling him which toys to pick up. It's so fucking annoying and I hate it. The thing is, he really does play with most of his toys...but he cycles through them. So for a few days a group of toys will be his absolute favorite, then he'll move on to another group, then go back to the first group. So I don't want to get rid of any but for fucks sake I am SO TIRED of picking them up.

My life! I've settled for tubs/bins/baskets/anything that keeps things corralled. The stuff in them is NOT organized. It's thrown in there haphazardly when it's clean-up time. But let's face it, the kids are going to dump it all out anyway, right? So when it's time to pick up, I just tell them to race or see who can grab the most, and they throw everything in as fast as they can... and it LOOKS neat and tidy as long as you don't open a box! I'm picky about my bookshelves and my arts/crafts (all color coded bins) but other than that... just shove that stuff somewhere. And then when "real" company comes over, I can just stack the bins in a bedroom. It also makes it easier to sort through and pull out the useless McDonalds toys, etc, and donate them when you can sort through one bin at a time instead of an entire toy hoard. Good luck!

 

[themildone]

My life! I've settled for tubs/bins/baskets/anything that keeps things corralled. The stuff in them is NOT organized. It's thrown in there haphazardly when it's clean-up time. But let's face it, the kids are going to dump it all out anyway, right? So when it's time to pick up, I just tell them to race or see who can grab the most, and they throw everything in as fast as they can... and it LOOKS neat and tidy as long as you don't open a box! I'm picky about my bookshelves and my arts/crafts (all color coded bins) but other than that... just shove that stuff somewhere. And then when "real" company comes over, I can just stack the bins in a bedroom. It also makes it easier to sort through and pull out the useless McDonalds toys, etc, and donate them when you can sort through one bin at a time instead of an entire toy hoard. Good luck!

That's kind of the direction I started going a few months ago but then he started dumping all of them out when he was trying to find a specific set of toys (like if he wanted to 'cook' he'd have to find his spatula, food, cutting board, etc.). I guess I could start trying to teach him to put them in a bucket on their own...I just doubt he'll figure it out any time soon. ugh.

 

[DareAngel3]

That's kind of the direction I started going a few months ago but then he started dumping all of them out when he was trying to find a specific set of toys (like if he wanted to 'cook' he'd have to find his spatula, food, cutting board, etc.). I guess I could start trying to teach him to put them in a bucket on their own...I just doubt he'll figure it out any time soon. ugh.

I'm not sure how old he is? But mine are 2 and 4, and they do "okay" with keeping blocks together, play food in the food bag, legos in the bucket, etc. Those are things that I keep zipped up or in a box that latches. Our fake food is hidden in my closet right now because I just couldn't handle it. If they throw a huge fit over picking something up, I do it myself and then it "disappears" for an indiscriminate amount of time. I'm not sure that's having any effect on their behavior, but it's definitely helpful for cycling out the messy stuff

 

[themildone]

I'm not sure how old he is? But mine are 2 and 4, and they do "okay" with keeping blocks together, play food in the food bag, legos in the bucket, etc. Those are things that I keep zipped up or in a box that latches. Our fake food is hidden in my closet right now because I just couldn't handle it. If they throw a huge fit over picking something up, I do it myself and then it "disappears" for an indiscriminate amount of time. I'm not sure that's having any effect on their behavior, but it's definitely helpful for cycling out the messy stuff

He's a little over 2.5. Does your younger one do okay with the sorting, too? I'm worried if I try it it'll just backfire and nothing will get cleaned up.

 

[DareAngel3]

He's a little over 2.5. Does your younger one do okay with the sorting, too? I'm worried if I try it it'll just backfire and nothing will get cleaned up.

You know, now that you mention it, I have no idea whether she's any good or it's her brother doing all the work and she's just following along . I'll experiment today and get back to you
Edit: but the good news is, maybe there's hope for the next couple years?

 

[themildone]

You know, now that you mention it, I have no idea whether she's any good or it's her brother doing all the work and she's just following along . I'll experiment today and get back to you

lol thanks!! I think I'm gonna try it now and see how it goes. I'll report back.

 

[themildone]

You know, now that you mention it, I have no idea whether she's any good or it's her brother doing all the work and she's just following along . I'll experiment today and get back to you
Edit: but the good news is, maybe there's hope for the next couple years?

update: started with 4 bins to sort things in. I...don't know if this is going to work. lol. we'll see.

 

[DareAngel3]

update: started with 4 bins to sort things in. I...don't know if this is going to work. lol. we'll see.

Ironically, the bin by my front door where I try to keep diaper bag/shoes/water bottles/toys that get drug out of the house/sunglasses... is currently all over my floor and I couldn't open the door when the UPS guy knocked So perhaps I'm not the most qualified to be giving advice!

 

[themildone]

Ironically, the bin by my front door where I try to keep diaper bag/shoes/water bottles/toys that get drug out of the house/sunglasses... is currently all over my floor and I couldn't open the door when the UPS guy knocked So perhaps I'm not the most qualified to be giving advice!

lmao it's all good! It doesn't have to completely eliminate all the messes all the time just...cut down on it. Hopefully.

 

[Sondi]

My son went deep into it with the questions last week...

"How do people die?"
"Why do people die?"
"Will I die?"
"Dom and Jo [our neighbors] will die because they are really old"
[my sister tries to distract him] - "look, there's a doggy!"
"That doggy might die."

Anyone have any book recommendations re: life and death for a 4 year old?

 

[TinaBanina]

My son went deep into it with the questions last week...

"How do people die?"
"Why do people die?"
"Will I die?"
"Dom and Jo [our neighbors] will die because they are really old"
[my sister tries to distract him] - "look, there's a doggy!"
"That doggy might die."

Anyone have any book recommendations re: life and death for a 4 year old?

I don't have any book recommendations. When my daughter went through it, we kind of just talked it over. Yes, people die. Yes, a lot of people die when they get old. Yes, sometimes kids die. etc, etc. I was honest, but in a way she could really understand.

 

[Sondi]

I don't have any book recommendations. When my daughter went through it, we kind of just talked it over. Yes, people die. Yes, a lot of people die when they get old. Yes, sometimes kids die. etc, etc. I was honest, but in a way she could really understand.

Yeah - I was trying to explain it to him simply but I really wasn't prepared so I felt like I was in the hot seat! I like the organization factor of books