yeah.. My MIL is lovely but not up for being a full-time-babysitter (which, yeah, neither am I? haha). If we lived near my parents I'd be much more likely to get a 'get out of the house' job.
I had my mom babysit when my first was born. I ended up having a lot of resentment because she wasn't doing things "my way" and she got to witness the firsts that I didn't. Once I started staying home, it took a while to build our relationship back up. I'm also more of a control freak than most, though.
This is extremely accurate and also how I feel. (good for him, though; really) I definitely struggle with the self esteem thing because sometimes I feel like I don't do enough. I always feel a bit better when I have a lucrative day on mturk, which is few and far between. You're not necessarily being a sad panda right now, just an informative speaking the truth panda which is appreciated.
I was always a pretty prestigious bread-winner, so it's definitely a struggle taking a backseat. I remind myself that they're only little for a short while, and soon they will be all grown up and won't need me... then I can go back to kicking my husband's ass at everything
(I was a lot better at working than I am at keeping the house clean. But the kids are happy, healthy, and educated, so something had to give.)